The Worst F2P MMOs On Steam Released In 2016

worst-f2p-steam-games-2016-news-banner

The only thing I love more than great games is bottom of the barrel horror. They show just how low a game can go, like an Uncle trying his luck at wedding-limbo; he always hits the bar and falls. We’ve had many games that deserve to be given the blue ribbon for being embarrassments, but we’ve limited the list to free to play games on Steam. If you can name a winner that deserves to be recognized for its abysmal gameplay let us know in the comments below.

Edit: Fixed Landmark listing with special grudge correction. 

Also, be sure to check out The Top Free To Play MMOs On Steam Released In 2016 for a listicle featuring games you may want to play.

Thanatos

I have to recognize Thanatos for being so bad it’s good—so long as you watch someone else play on YouTube. It’s a broken copy of every trope in the bad MMORPG playbook: auto-gameplay, choppy animations, dated graphics, pea-soup textures. The only redeeming quality of Thanatos is the tomato sauce that runs through the enemy’s veins; when their health hits 0 they make a mess like a spaghetti dinner. Why did anyone play this game? Because sex sells. Thanatos has more cleavage than an ad for Evony. Unfortunately, Thanatos isn’t embarrassing enough to keep the servers running. As of October 14th the game is temporarily closed. Good riddance.
x

Thanatos: The Dragon Chaser Gameplay HD - Gumble's Grumbles

Bierzerkers

You know a game has no future when the last update was back in April, 2016: welcome to Bierzerkers. The developers tried to combine drinking, combat, and soccer; where players kill each other to carry a sheep to their opponent's’ goal. Wielding weapons against other players was fun, even smooth, but cradling a sheep in your arms and carrying it across the map was a chore. Like movies, terrible games are fun because they’re terrible; but nothing is worse than a boring game, and Bierzerkers is an especially boring game. I wonder what the 2 players still left think of Bierzerkers. Maybe they still play just because it’s different. Gameplay novelty can be a wonderful thing, but not when it feels forced. In the words of MMOs.com’s Altay, “This game sucks.”
x

Bierzerkers Gameplay - Sunday Funday Round 40

Kuboom

There’s a law in nature which states that you can never have too many Counter-Strike clones. But scientists continue to debate just how much blatant copying has to go on to be considered a true doppelganger. There was no discussion when it came to Kuboom. Kuboom reimagines 1.6 in a cube universe like Minecraft, without any of the sandbox elements or good gameplay. Instead we get shoddy shooting mechanics and models that look like they belong on a Mattel playset. Developer nobodyshot didn’t even bother changing map names: Dust is still “Dust;” Assault is still “Assault.” When you’re going to rip off a game at least throw in some originality. Then again Kuboom isn’t so much a ripoff as it is flattery, which I can respect to an extent. But flatter all you want, it doesn’t mean you’ve got a good game.
x

КУБУМ|KUBOOM - ТРЕЙЛЕР!

Landmark

So this one isn't free-to-play but it should be. Don't know what I was thinking, except I probably harbor some special grudge. 

Landmark is one of the greatest disappointments of 2016, like a child prodigy who grows up to sell crack behind the abandoned penny theater. It was designed as a tie-in to the now cancelled EverQuest Next, and sits on this list because of its fall from grace. What went wrong? Sony Online Entertainment (Daybreak Games) was sold to private equity group Columbus Nova, and it’s likely EverQuest Next was a bit too risky for the new owners. Instead Landmark became a standalone game, with a whopping 30 day average of 5 players online. Landmark is a warning: even big companies can fail to deliver.
x

Imperia Online

I wonder if we’ll ever hit peak-bad-Facebook-strategy-games. Games like Imperia Online print money but not from Steam users. The cookie-cutter–city-builder lacks in too many departments, especially animations. Send your troops off to battle to proc a menu screen telling you whether you’ve won or lost. Even Civilization, which is a digital board game, shows your archers firing arrows from one tile into another. But not Imperia Online. As usual, players with multiple credit cards dominate the world. We may debate pay-to-win when it comes to games like Black Desert Online, but there’s no debate when it comes to Imperia Online. It's just another virus in a continuing chain of browser strategy games. We salute Imperia Online for representing a guaranteed bad game every year.
x

Imperia Online - The Great People Official Trailer

Tom Clancy’s EndWar Online

Sometimes developers forget to add the magic ingredient “fun”when crafting their game. That memo never made it in the development of Tom Clancy’s EndWar Online. The free-to-play spin-off was the equivalent of porn website advertising: constant pop-ups proselytizing the benefits of VIP membership. “BUY ME, YOU DESERVE TO WIN TODAY!” It might be acceptable if the game had any redeeming qualities. But gameplay was as bland as a Buick Century. Players dropped units in lanes to counter enemies in a modern warfare version of Rock, Paper, Scissors—again and again and again. But there’s a catch. Just like in real life, the sovereignty with more money has more military might, so break out your VISA and take over the world. Pushy cash shop practices and missing “fun” culminate in a game shutting down on October 31, 2016. You won’t be missed.
x

Endwar Online: Open Beta Trailer

From Mega Man II to Ape Escape, I've been playing games for as long as I can remember. I've spent months killing porings in Ragnarok Online and more recently lived a second life in Eve Online. I usually play as gUMBY, gUMBLEoni, or gUMBLes in-game.