Saying Goodbye To A Game

I am terribly depressed right now. I feel like this should not be that upsetting. After all, I have experienced some serious loss in the last couple of years. I have experienced real-life tragedy, rejection, betrayal, and hardship.

One of the few things in which I have found any joy in my life in the last year has been a game. As embarrassing as it is, that game is Scarlet Blade. Now, Scarlet Blade has been given the terminal diagnosis. I have one month with this cherished companion before it goes away, forever.

Why does this make me want to cry?

As a recently divorced man of almost 40, I find myself turning to video games to decompress, de-stress and socialize. This may seem incredibly unhealthy (and maybe it is), but according to research of Dr. Jane Mcgonigal, as outlined in the book “Superbetter,” positive game experiences can actually promote “post traumatic growth”.

Finding Community

I have a group of (IRL) friends that are close and have helped me out a lot, but there are many evenings, I am just left at home, alone, with nothing to do and no one to talk to. This is how I, like so many others, ended up bonding with my “affinity group” online. In What Video Games Have to Teach Us about Learning and Literacy James Paul Gee introduces "semiotic domains," or social spaces where knowledge is co-constructed and meaning is defined by social agreement. Those of us with the fortune to have practice in a specific Semiotic Domain are prone to forming affinity groups.

Those of us who have made friends playing a specific MMO together have formed a tight affinity group around the co-constructed knowledge of that game. Further, playing that game together has built up a serious amount of trust and camaraderie, as we fight world bosses and opposing player factions together. This is the principle Jane McGonigal was reflecting in her 2008 TED talk, when she said that,

Gamers are virtuosos at weaving a tight social fabric. There's a lot of interesting research that shows we like people better after we play a game with them, even if they've beaten us badly. And the reason is, it takes a lot of trust to play a game with someone. We trust that they will spend their time with us, that they will play by the same rules, value the same goal, stay with the game until it's over. And so, playing a game together actually builds up bonds and trust and cooperation. And we actually build stronger social relationships as a result. (McGonigal, 2008)

This forming of tight social bonds within games is absolutely key when my IRL friends are burned out on “hanging out with the divorced guy”.

For better or worse I have found my community, my affinity group, in the game, Scarlet Blade. Don’t judge. I’m not sure how it happened but I have formed tight social bonds amidst ridiculous hyperbolic innuendo and mildly offensive graphics. Over the last year in this imaginary world of Scarlet Blade I’ve come to know and to care deeply about a number of people that I will likely never meet in real life. I know their hurts, their struggles, and their dreams. I look forward to hearing about their lives. I pray for them when they are hurting. Say what you will about this, but I have found deep and profound community in this least likely of places.

Death, Mourning, And Moving On...

I have to note that it is nice to go “where everybody knows your name,” as Gary Portnoy once said, even if it’s your character name. You can eventually get that in a new game, but it won’t be quite the same group of friends. Never again will you be able to bond over the co-constructed knowledge of that game.

Yes, I have felt awful for liking Scarlet Blade, but I have been hopelessly addicted to it anyway. Now, it is going away. Never again will I level up a new character and get to talk to Guard Captain Carl. Never again will I hear the haunting, yet soothing soundtrack of Mereholt in my headset. Never again will I get the rush of having someone shout my name in global chat asking for help in the level 39 PvP zone or asking me to register for Turnpike. Most of all, I’ll likely never again get to hang out with Willow, Katie, Huggs, Slack, Jezabelle, Selda, or any of the other awesome people I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know. I won’t get to catch up with my guildmates in Clear, watching their stories unfold in guild-chat and offering my support, prayers and bad jokes.

All of this brings me to one core question that I cannot avoid as a social gamer:

What happens to your community when the game you play dies?

It does happen. City of Heroes is no more. Pirates of the Caribbean died. Many others have passed on to the big server in the sky. It’s sad, but after spending all that time, money, and emotional investment, the game that you love can just go away. It’s one thing to lose a game you love. It’s quite another to lose all of those connections and friendships. What can we do to prepare for this? What follows may seem like simple common sense, but to my friends in game these were novel ideas. These are not stupid people by any stretch. We just simply hadn’t thought of this.

Social Networking

First, try to connect outside of the game. This is the easiest and quickest way to stay connected to people whose real names you might not even know. Get together on Facebook, Twitter, or Google Plus. Unfortunately, members of your team or guild may not all agree on a network or even on the concept of social networking. Two of my best in-game-friends refuse to participate in social networking, yet they will make accounts in multiple online games without question. Also, a lot of us want to keep our gaming lives and real lives separate. As a teacher, for example, it isn’t exactly copacetic for me to post about Scarlet Blade on my Facebook page.

Expand Your Repertoire

This brings me to the next idea. Agree and plan to play some other games together every once and awhile. Seriously, you kids need to get out more. After all, MMO Hopping Is
Incredibly Common, so perhaps it’s time to hop on the train. One of my friends has a Tera account and asked us to give it a try. I have roped my two best friends from Scarlet Blade into Blade and Soul. Worst case scenario, once you have a few other games under your belt, you can pick the metaphorical “tree in the backyard” to meet at in case of emergency. Best case scenario, you find one or two other games that you love to play together.

Make A VOIP Channel

Fire up Discord, or any number of other free VoIP apps for gamers and make a channel for your friends. This not only can aid your performance in dungeons and PvP, but also allow you to deliver your best jokes with voice inflection, which may be a game changer. Either way, this gives you an additional way to message each other when your internet goes down, a friend stops over and won’t leave, your house catches fire, or your game of choice just goes down suddenly.

Letting Go & Parting Thoughts...

Last night, I logged into Scarlet Blade just to hang out and mourn with some friends. There was a lot of talk about English patches for the Korean version (Queensblade), Private Servers, Petitions to Aeria, and hope for other publishers to pick this game up. Maybe some of this will pan out, maybe it won't. At best, I think we can hope for a nostalgia experience, like the classic consoles you can buy at the local pharmacy’s toy aisle. Whatever comes of these ideas will likely be a “Frankenstein’s Monster” version of the original. Don’t get me wrong, if a private server comes online I’ll be there. I know, that it just won’t be the same. I played Blade & Soul on a private server for six months before it came out in closed beta in the US. It was the same story, the same mechanics, and the same characters, but It just wasn’t near as vibrant and polished.

Letting go is hard. We invest so much in these imaginary lives that the loss and the mourning are quite real. No wonder we long to prolong the life of the game we love. Don’t minimize it, and don’t make fun of it. It is what it is. Do your best to hang on to the friends you’ve made, and enjoy the time you have left.

Meanwhile, if you run into me in Scarlet Blade this March, hit me up for a screenshot photo-op together. Let’s shoot the breeze and preserve the moment.

While it isn’t for everyone Blade & Soul is a lot of fun. You can find Cuddle, Redbelle, and I on the Hajoon Server. We’re always looking for Scarlet Blade vets to hang with. Maybe we can kill General Gobung together… he’s no Abaddon, but he’ll do.