A Day In The Life Of An NPC: Kobold Worker


Me here every day. All day. Waiting. Waiting with friends: Kobold Worker and Kobold Worker. Me best friends who never take candle. Me only friends. Forever we know each other, for long as me remember. Which isn’t too long but it must be long because me cannot remember standing in any spot not this one. Seem like we stand forever, right here, together.

Some Kobold say Kobold Worker and Kobold Worker is twin but I tell apart. I know secret. Kobold Worker stand by gold and Kobold Worker stand away from gold. Sometime me think Kobold Worker going stand where Kobold Worker stand but Kobold Worker always stand where he supposed to stand. He do what he supposed to do. But sometime me see him look like he’s going to stand but he don’t. Kobold Worker make me laugh.

They say don’t move. They say stand. Stand there. Keep it safe. Keep what safe? Me don’t know. Keep it safe they say, so we stand. We stand to work but we never work. We never use axe for gold. We stand. We stand in triangle, a very good triangle. Not as good as gold but it’s triangle and me learn like triangle. Me don’t know how we know to stand. Even if we break triangle we stand right where we stand before. It’s okay to stand. Me starts to think standing is work but me never tired.

Sometime we look around but not long. Looking is dangerous to standing. We look each other. Sometimes we speak but most time we stand and only speak low voice so not even we hear. Who knows what we say! Me don’t know. Me like silence anyway. Silence okay with friends, more enjoyable than words. We plenty time think, but me like think nothing best (Kobold Worker and Kobold Worker also like think nothing best).

Sometime thing not like Kobold Worker or Kobold Worker or other Kobold come. Me call them not-kobold. Not Kobold thing too weird. They come from not cave. Imagine that if can. If not-kobold too close we attack to keep safe, together. Only time we allowed move. We hobble at them to protect candle, swing pick as hard as me can. I don’t like swing pick if not gold, but they say that be like it is. Hard work swing pick at thing that move and sometime swing pick back.

One time a not-kobold came. It wear gold but not gold in rock. It smooth like dirt near cave mouth. Me want touch. But when too close me see bright light from rain I don’t like. Kobold Worker and Kobold Worker lay on floor, not moving. Me get scared and not know what do. Me candle out and everything turn dark, darker than deepest place in cave. Darkest dark no candle can see. Me try run but me so cold. I thinks, “Yip, me kill,” but when me open eyes me stand next to Kobold Worker and Kobold Worker. I was happy to stand together, everything in its right place, making sure cave safe. Always weird when no-kobold come.

Every time me open eyes me have something new in bag. One time me have apple. Me want to eat apple but me not allowed eat. Me just hold apple. Another time me had apple and weird pickaxe. Pickaxe all wrong, no good chip. Why me have it me don’t know. Me want to ask Kobold Worker and Kobold Worker if item too, but couldn’t hear me. Never keep item long. Not-kobold pass, everything dark, and wake up me had no things.

Kobold life not for all Kobold. Some Kobold leave cave, never see again. Me happy in cave, in triangle, with Kobold Worker and Kobold Worker. Me stand and not think all day. Thinking get in way of good standing. Appreciate fine thing: candle, friend, gold. No worry about question or no-kobold. Me always wake up anyway. Kobold life is simple life. Me not want any other way.

Thanks for reading. If you like this piece check out A Day In The Life Of An NPC: Item Shop. If you have any suggestions for future NPC articles let me know in the comments below.

From Mega Man II to Ape Escape, I've been playing games for as long as I can remember. I've spent months killing porings in Ragnarok Online and more recently lived a second life in Eve Online. I usually play as gUMBY, gUMBLEoni, or gUMBLes in-game.