Clickbait Conspiracy: Publishers And Gold Sellers Work Together

First they come after us with chemical and biological attacks, put sulfuric acid in our drinking water, drop Agent Orange out of biplanes right over our children’s schools, melt steel beams at temperatures steel beams can’t melt at. AND NOW. NOW! Make sure you have a big glass of water to swallow this red pill. Publishers and developers are working with gold sellers. Why else would there be gold sellers on Open Beta day one when it’s exclusive to Founders Pack players? WHY ELSE? HUH? They think we’re stupid! Well I’ve got something to tell them. The people are waking up! They’re going to be WOKE.

I. AM. OUTRAGED. You're damn right I’m mad. I’M PISSED. Developers and publishers are working with gold sellers to steal our money! Why... Why!? Ready for this? They’re doing it to erode the very foundation of MMORPGs and make way for the Reptilian Agenda. Yes folks, that’s right, the Repitilian Agenda is tied up with gold selling. Now I may just be an average fightin Texan gamer, but that doesn’t mean I can’t see through the intricate shroud of lies, that THEY try to pull over our eyes. IT MAKES ME SO MAD! RAWGRAGWAG!

Sorry folks, I’m a little wild today. I ate a big steak this morning and it’s loaded with Monsanto engineered hormones and testosterone and whatever other sterilizing chemicals are mixed in there, so I’m a little wild. I’m sorry. I apologize. Let me regroup here.

Let me tell you a story, let me tell you. Listen, listen. You see, I logged into this game the other day, just to check it out, to see what this new MMORPG was all about. I was looking forward to it. It’s got wings and big bosomed anime girls and everything else I like in my MMORPG. Then. THEN! I looked at the chat, and do you know what I saw? GOLD SELLERS. One after another, with their broken english chipboard spam. It was terrible. All linking to their websites with the same CIA manufactured artificial intelligence to GET YOU TO CLICK THEIR LINK, to steal your money, your data, YOUR SOUL!

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Don’t tell anyone. The next major Wikileaks reveal will show how the CIA, MI5, Larry David, the writers from season 6 of The Simpsons, and extraterrestrials from the future are all in on this gold selling scheme! THE MINUTE WE REVEAL THEM! THEIR DESTRUCTION BEGINS! I can taste their weakness. POWER TO THE GAMERS.

You know it wouldn’t be such a problem if wasn’t for these gaming “““““JOURNALISTS,””””” telling us, “Oh, don’t worry, it’s a good sign. It means the game is healthy if people are trying to sell gold, don’t worry, don’t cry.” They’re brainwashing our children into eroding MMORPGs! That’s why they suck! MMORPGS AREN’T EVEN DESIGNED BY HUMANS ANYMORE!

Then these journalists in their squeaky yuppie voices say, “oh well, they need to make money and sell gold to feed their families because the jobs aren’t too good and stuff…” YEAH WELL I DON’T CARE. This is my genre. MY MMORPGS! These anti-gamer control freak journalists are eating off the palms of factory-spun gold sellers and giggling about it. Well… I'VE HAD ENOUGH!

They’re sitting in their fat plush chairs, with the paisley designs sewn together with tears of low-leveled players without a cent to their name, and plotting against us, the gamers! You know what this is. You know what? It’s an Illuminati orchestrated conspiracy to sell us gold, to trap us in a scientific matrix grid in the early phases of being inserted into an existentialist extermination system.

They’re selling us our own gold to make us stupid. Remember eugenics? HUH? REMEMBER! Gold sellers are part of the transdimensional eugenics program to select susceptible human beings into their early access infiltration scheme. Remember “They Live!?” WELL THEY LIVE RIGHT NOW! AND THEY’RE SELLING US GOLD!

I’m a lover, and that’s why I’m a fighter, and I’m sick and tired of these reptoid clones of John Wayne and Elvis designing our MMORPGs. Enough with your Billderbergs and your Bohemian Groves, and your gold spam. ENOUGH! I’m sick and tired of it. It’s making me crazy.

But I'm writing this post to let all these psycopathic conspirators know that I'm onto them, that WE'RE ONTO THEM. And we won't tolerate their darknet gold-selling plots to ruin MMORPGs! We're watching you big brother.

Remember, Make MMORPGs Great Again.